Tuesday, February 17, 2009

And So It Goes

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers' past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Goodnight, My Angel

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an Emerald Bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart, there will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone, but lullabies go on and on
They never die, that's how you and I will be

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Samson

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Viva La Vida

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Vienna (waits for you)

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Oh Well..

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

For Leo,

Today you're going to have to accept a few things that you don't really like -- whether it's an inconvenient meeting time, the nutty opinions of a coworker, or uncooperative weather. These things are out of your control, and the sooner you come to terms with that, the better. You can't be bothered by pettiness when there's nothing you can do to change it. Switch your focus to things you like and things you can change -- like your attitude, or your immediate surroundings.

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Long Awaited Story We've All Been Missing Out On

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Let's have a story, shall we?

After the whole ending of the saga of my struggle to find happiness in April 2007, I found myself heading on a collision course of self-destruction. Deep down, I had always been depressed. I took comfort in the love showered upon me by my family and friends, but when it came to matters of intimate relationships with the opposite sex, I had begun to turn cold with skepticism. I devised my own theories of how love between a man and a woman should be. I was lost from this point onward.

I had tried to do things differently from how I had done them before. I sought out different people for the thrill of the hunt, sexual pleasure and a boost to my ego. Some were friends, some were strangers and some were prostitutes. For quite some time, I felt like this was what it should be from there on. Seeking the comforts and pleasures of consensual parties without having to reveal my true feelings or emotions. I felt like I had nothing to lose. This was during a time when I was stuck in training camps, having nothing else to look forward to but a good time on weekends. I felt on top of the world and nothing nor anybody could put me down or deter me from my relentlessness. Some of my experiences were sensational, but most were not as well as I had imagined they would be. Nevertheless, I was ever spurred.

It all came to a halt when I met and caught up with a good friend's ex-girlfriend, whom I barely knew. One thing led to another and I found myself having gone to bed with this girl. Something that was purely a consensual one-off thing. In the heat of things, everything was going as planned right until I hit a wall and I hit it hard. Suddenly, there was something in me that cried to stop. I did not know what it was at that time, but I found myself not being able to perform. Immediately, I went limp. I was very embarrassed that I could not get myself back on again. I tried and tried until she lost patience and called the whole thing off. I apologized yet I could not explain even to myself what was happening.

After much thought, I had realized that my conscience was telling me, at the moment, that what I was doing and what I had been doing was all wrong. It was disgusting, disrespectful and despicable. From then on, I promised I would not be like that any more. I decided to take some time for myself and reflect on my thoughts about how I should carry on my life.

In August 2007, I had met up with some old friends to celebrate my 23rd birthday. It was then that I got in touch with a friend that I have now known for about eight years and counting. By that time, I was totally sober and had had a lot of time to reflect. Anyway, this friend's name is Carissa and she had been there for me a while after my break-up with my previous girlfriend. She, herself had recently gone through the same and she only wanted to help me out. When we finally met to celebrate my 23rd birthday, we had not seen each other for about two years since the last. We kept in contact during the following months and throughout that period we had fallen for each other. We made it official on the 15th of October 2007.

At the beginning, Carissa was very skeptical that it would not work out because of past experiences with others and certain emotional scarring. I assured her that I had felt the same way, but it was time to change that way of thinking, live for the moment, and let God take care of the rest. I was successful. The two of us had become very much in love and she told me that nobody had ever made her so happy before. I shared that sentiment very much.

As time went by, I had been struggling with coping with National Service. It was very frustrating having to put up with all the rubbish I had to take at work, and subsequently I found myself taking it out on her. She tried as hard as she could to endure all these because she understood that it was just taking a toll on me. She was just wonderful and I was just horrible. I had taken for granted that she would always be there to comfort me.

It got worse when she started working for a new company which demanded more of her than her previous employers. She was working all kinds of weird night shifts and I was working morning shifts. It was practically impossible to meet at all during the week, but we still had weekends. The problem with me is that I also dedicate my weekends to my close friends, and Carissa had expressed many times that it was too much to bear. We had ended up mixing our time with time spent with friends and we just had very little opportunity to be alone with each other. Even then, we fought a lot and I just did not help it by being my egoistic self.

There came a point in our relationship when Carissa had lost almost all hope in trying to salvage anything that we had lost between ourselves and she attempted to call the whole thing off before the end of the year 2008. I had just finished National Service and was ready to begin my new life with her, but to my dismay it was not as peachy as I had planned for it. We sat down and talked about it for many nights. We cried and we suffered great pain.

At the end of it all, I realized that I had been foolish in holding on to past hurts and being stubborn about opening my eyes to see that she is really the woman I've been waiting for my whole life, and to let her slip through my hands just like that would be a terrible mistake. I poured my feelings out to Carissa and I managed to convince her that I would not make the same mistake again. She too realized that it would be almost impossible to go on without me, because of all the wonderful moments we had shared together before. We agreed to give it another try.

I'm very happy to say now that Carissa and I are pulling through and I am content. We have not reached our destination as we have a lot of catching up to do, but I have made significant improvement to my life and the way I treat her. She is happy and I am happy. We love each other and that is all that matters. We are in this together and I believe that we will get there soon.

I've learned that what we are all looking for is not really that right companion to love and depend on to get through life, but it is the aid that these people offer to go in search of the good and the bad of what is truly wonderful. Carissa has shown me many things to life that I had never been able to imagine true. She has brought me utmost joy in everything that she does, says and believes in. That is the beauty of the love that I share with her, and she has made my life a better place to be in by introducing her unique look on all things. I had tried to fight in skepticism for a long time before, but I now know that because of her I have the strength to accept myself and find confidence and assurance within myself to carry on.

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*