I'll Do Anything I Want To

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

There are people that will investigate you
They'll insinuate, intimidate and complicate you
Don't ever wait or hesitate to state the fate that awaits those who
Try to shake or take you
Don't let them break you
You can do anything you want to do
It's not wrong what I sing it's true
You can do anything you want to do
Do what you want to
People that despise you will analyse then criticise you
They'll scandalise and tell lies until they realize
You are someone they should have apologised to
Don't let these people compromise you
Be wise too
You can do anything you want to do
It's not wrong what I sing it's true
You can do anything you want to do
Do what you want to
Hey you you're not their puppet on a string
You can do everything
It's true if you really want to
You can do anything you want
Just like I do
You can do anything you want to do
It's not wrong when I sing it's true
You can do anything you want to do
Do what you want

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

I've Been Had!

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

We had a blast on Thursday at the chalet. It was intimate. Just the few of us. No hassle. A lot of fun. Amanda taught us to play this new card game called Citadel. I was poking fun at it initially but after we started to get the hang of it, we were very addicted.

I had dinner with Darren, Godma and Mama at the Cha Cha Cha, a second-rate Mexican food restaurant after Margarita's, the next day. We were just in time to go watch Keith perform with his Montfort Chorale at CHIJMES. It was pretty alright. Dropped by Jasmine's work-place after that, but she wasn't working that day. We had coffee. We adjourned back to Godma's to chill and watch a movie. Glory Day is a good movie to catch. My brothers went home after, while I headed back to the chalet from the night before. I had my fun again only until I found out some displeasing news from a good friend, Mitch. He felt that I was being kept in the dark about certain things and he told me all about it through the morning. I felt sadness, anger and a sense of enlightenment. The answers to my questions were more or less given to me that night.

The next day, Saturday, My family celebrated my birthday in advance at dinner. We ate at the Sumo House at Bedok Central. Decent Japanese food at very affordable prices. I couldn't really enjoy myself because of what I found out the night before but I tried as much as I could to. Back at my Godma's place, I proceeded to tell her about what I found out. Auntie Regina voiced there and then that she had seen it coming from the beginning. I don't know how I'd never seen it coming, my way at least. Stayed at Godma's with Darren till 6am and then took a cab home.

After dinner on Sunday, I went out to meet Mark and Brad. We chilled around Hougang till about 4am. We were just talking and I was filling them in on stuff. I'm glad I met them.

Monday came and went. My 22nd Birthday. For the first time in my life, I felt like shit on my birthday. My mom made me breakfast. She could tell I wasn't feeling happy. She asked me why. I couldn't hide it so I told her what had happened. She listened and advised me. After that, I went to get ready for school. While I was about to brush my teeth, I started crying. My face was numbing up and I couldn't stop myself. I got to school and everyone was wishing me warmly. Well, almost everyone. I had lunch with Marcus, Jeremy, Guoliang, Huimin and Huiying. I was doing alright. I had my laughs with Marcus and Jeremy. Later on, Marcus, Sara and I headed to go meet Mark, Brad, Aloy and Sufyan for dinner to celebrate my birthday. A shame Mitch couldn't join us for dinner. On the way there, I was thinking about the bad things that made me upset and it was unbearable. I tried to hide it but I couldn't. As a result of that, some complained that I was being grumpy as usual. That's fine. By the time we sat down for dinner, I can say that I was pretty much alright. Sara and Sufyan left after dinner and the rest of us headed to Jean's place for drinks. Mitch was there and We all found out more about what's been happening in the shadows. Other than that, I had my fun and I was glad I had my family there with me.

Thank You, Saleeloo, for planning the dinner. It meant a lot =)

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

We Don't Know What We're Here For

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Today, I met Sha'ari and Kokliang opposite school. Kokliang left halfway. Sha'ari and I had some good catching up done. We laughed and talked about funny things. Nobody cracks me up like Sha'ari does, apart from myself. After he got on the bus home, I walked over to school to meet the rest of my school mates. I jammed with them for a little bit. I watched them practice for a little bit. I sat outside for a little bit listening along with Letitia and Josiah to Audrey rant about complications. I said hello to Tim and said goodbye to Lindsay. I saw some people in school that I haven't seen in some time due to the long school break. I sat with Norman for a little bit. I tried to make him feel better. I told him to take care. I said goodbye to everyone else.

I met Justin and Ivan for dinner at Parkway Parade. It's been a long time. It couldn't have been better. The same with Sha'ari, we had some good catching up done and laughed and talked about funny things. I worked my stomach muscles today. After dinner, we played pool. I kept winning only because they haven't played in a long time and I've been practicing for the past two years. Haha. I love those guys. They're my placebo. After pool, we headed down to the original Athirah's Prata Place to have traditional teh-peng and mediocre prata. When it had gotten late, we decided to head home for the night. Ivan walked home and so did Justin and I. Yes, that's right. We walked all the way home. We talked about Catholicism. The walk did me a lot of good.

Recently, I've gone all out to set things straight with people around me that I care about. Very often, I come across as someone who is insensitive to others' feelings. In the way that I behave and speak in front of others, especially those whom I care more for than mere acquaintances. I have my pride and many a time, I don't realize this. It hurts when the people I care about tell me that I'm nothing but a grouch; that I show ingratitude and I'm plain selfish. I don't blame them and I've decided to change that. When I embarked on this new mission to change, most people were receptive but taken by surprise. Some were not so receptive. Again, I don't blame. It's not easy to swallow. If I were to be presented with the same kind of scenario in the past, I'd probably be as non-receptive but we all make our mistakes. Whether they are big or small, we're still the same. I've made my mistakes. I wish to make it better. What's in the past is in the past. I cannot do away with the hurt. I can only look forward and ensure that I don't make the same mistakes. Some may say, "Only now, does he realize." I am no saint, nor do I expect people to understand fully. Whether I realize now or any other time, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that I'm aware. The sad truth is that most people aren't aware about a lot of things. I've always known that but the best part is that now I know that it starts with me.

"If you hate, then the only person you hurt is yourself. Most people don't know you hate; and those who do, don't care." - Medgar Evers

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*