The Time Hath Cometh!

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Greetings, my good people of the city. There have been disputes about whether or not to put an end to all this bickering and ranting between the Empire and its puny nemesis, the rebellion that lives outside the empire! Sir Sufus the Dufus hath allied himself with the notorious and crazy Bar-servant Rawk, a.k.a Treasonous Lips. They are assembling their rebellion outside the city walls as we speak! Now, there is no need for panic. The usual procedures would have to be carried out immediately. Your women and children will take refuge inside the stables, where there is enough supplies of hay to last them through the century. Every man, fit and abled, will report to the barracks as militia, immediately!

I say to you now, my good people! For years, you have warded off many invaders! No matter what, you have protected the Empire and the city's walls with your dear lives! In ancient times, you have done well! Let I, the Emperor, be proud of you all once more! Be brave and fearless! For now is the time when darkess falls! To fight for what is, and what should never be!

We march! Let them hear the cry of WAR!!!!

"We come from the land of the ice and snow! From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow! The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands! To fight the horde, singing and crying! Valhalla! We are coming! How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore, of how we calmed the tides of war! We are your overlords! On we sweep with threshing oar! Our only goal will be the western shore! So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins! For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing!"

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Infidels!!!

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

For those who claimed that the Kingdom of Heaven movie sucks, you should all be beheaded! I watched it and absolutely loved it. It was damn enlightening for me to watch. My favourite character has got to be the King of Jerusalem. The way he spoke just blew me outta town.

I conclude that the Crusades were an elusive attempt to "re-conquer" the Holy Lands at Jerusalem. Ironically, the mass killing that inflicted war between the great religions were done in the name of God. Furthermore, both respecting religions worship and praise the same God. What a shame! The same things are still going on till today.

Watching it made me realise one thing. The more you defend your religion, the more you are trying to put another religion to shame. Why would you want to insult your fellow brother in that way? This goes for both sides, whom are guilty of it. One of the main reasons why people still fight religious wars, is that mankind constantly hungers for the power, wealth and the satisfaction of being right! If you're gonna blame anything on religion, then you're a fool. God didn't create religion. He created mankind who, in turn, created religion. Lastly, War has never been God's Will. It has always been the will of man. So bite your own tongues and love it! Everytime you call someone an infidel, you might as well say it to yourself.

Favourite Quote from the movie:
"God will understand. If He does not, then he is not God. In that case, we need not worry at all."

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

It's Gangsta Rap, ya'll.

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Don't nobody pass up on this one, ya'll. 'Cos this shit is HILARIOUS!

Titled - "Look At Me Now" (The names of these artists have been kept confidential by consent of the Emperor. Within this posting, they shall be known only as J & H.)

J: Yo, Han!
H: Wassup, J?
J: Are this people lookin' at me?
H: What... are they supposed to?
J: Hell! Yeah, they do! So you gonna bring it?
H: You gonna bring it?
J: Gonna start now
H: Yeah, here it comes!
J: Here it comes, Uh!

Chorus
J: Look at me now
H: Still standing stage strong
J: Look at me now
H: I'm gonna be here for long
J: Look at me now
H: Everybody look at me now
J: Gonna be a blast! You know who's the best! Now listen to our song!

Verse (J)
I start with a treble while you tremblin'! Perfect Dolby sound while your song is getting cancelling! Keep and love my rap transition. It's rockin' my main party! Know my audience. Know my players and prepare for my closing! Wot? I transpose my rap from a slow to allegro! We should do up my voice like I'm singing a "J Lo"! Accent on the G's. Rap from black to white. Be "Sisi" to my own voice. You're unknown to my delight! Wot?

-Chorus-

Verse (H)
Some people call me Han, but I'm known best for delusions, Illusions and all of mind tests. I'm a raging fire burning this whole town. Walk in my attire bringin' all your heads down! I'm nice like a mice when I feel like it. A spice to life, while yours feels like shit! I'm gonna end my song so bring the chorus now. 'Cos when I bust my flow, You'll be looking at me now!

-Chorus-

Verse (J & H)
J: Straight out from the babe pool
H: You'll be hearing the sound...
J: to the noise of the is there!
H: Rhymes so, so profound! Till the day we're found...
J: We'll Keep the game tight!
J & H: Bustin' on the normal. We'll be doing 2 dice, Uh! It's J & Han! You know this song is so undone
J: 'Cos when we're done, we'll lead the contingent in the front!
H: The Commander of the war...
J: The people we meet...
H: You'll be fighting...
J: You'll be shooting...
J & H: while you be lookin' at me, Wot!

-Chorus- (x2)

J: Look at me now (x3) Gonna be a blast! You know who's the best! Now listen to our song!
H: Look at me now.... nananana.... (x2)
J: Han! Han! Han! Shut up now. Han!
H: What?J: It's over. The song's over. Shut up.. cos yeah, I think you should go now... (fades)

-End-

P.S. The bad english is meant to be. Go figure this one out, my good people!

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

A New Day

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Hello, my good people! I'm sure you all know about the christian evangelists that we agreed to put up with in our land before. Years have gone by and times have changed for the better. The christian evangelists have mingled with our kind and now they dwell with us as one. The evangelists have since been inter-marrying themselves with the people of this city. Hence, you have all been converted to the ways of the Christ.

As you all may know... I, myself, have just experienced the act of baptism by water. I am fully content with my new beliefs in God and His Son, Jesus Christ. May His light shine upon my reign here as Emperor! And now, I shall lead you all in the special event of Gospel Hymn Singing - courtesy of Sir Kurdt Cobain.

-They Hung Him On A Cross-

They hung him on a cross
They hung him on a cross
They hung him on a cross for me!

One day when I lost
They hung him on a cross
They hung him on a cross for me!

They whooped him up the hill
They whooped him up the hill
They whooped him up the hill for me!

One day when I lost
They hung him on a cross
They whooped him up the hill for me!

They never said among them would
They never said among them would
They never said among them would for me!

One day when I was lost
They hung him on a cross
They hung him on a cross for me!

They bit him in the side
They bit him in the side
They bit him in the side for me!

One day when I lost
They hung him on a cross
They hung him on a cross for me!

They hung his head and died
They hung his head and died
We hung his head and he died for me!

One day when I was lost
They hung him on a cross
They hung him on a cross for me!

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Blandest

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Movies to catch up with:
Sahara
Guess Who
Mr & Mrs Something
Kingdom of Heaven
War of the Worlds
the Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Madagascar
Star Wars: Episode III

Good movies that you might have missed,
that you shouldn't miss for a second time:
A Beautiful Mind
American Beauty
Chocolate
Sleepers
K-pax
Starship Troopers
Christmas Vacation
Deep Impact
Ocean's Eleven
25th Hour
Fight Club
American History X
Greedy
the Count of Monte Cristo!!!
(more to come, next posting)

If ever, you're selling red roses at your church or in town for Mother's Day, don't be a fool and insist that the passers-by purchase your merchandise. If he or she says "No", then so be it. Just think about it. For the love of ME, he or she may not have a mother to give your stinkin' roses to!!!

Let my wisdom inspire you, my good people!

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Lost In Siglap

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Today, Lady Sara and I had dinner with the director and leading cast of "Lost In Transit", an up-and-coming new amateur musical about a girl who dreams of becoming a star in the big city. Sara plays Mia, the lead role. On the side, Sara and I have been given the task of arranging and instrumenting the 40 min show.

We dined at "Chat Masala", which is owned by Sundram Moorthi of the Singapore Lions. Great Indian food for the high rollers, and a bit expensive too. I gather it's a popular place with the celebrities. I saw the whole Richmond gang along with Beatrice Chia's folks, and an anonymous talent who normally plays the gangster/bad guy on channel 5. I also met up with an old acquaintance by the name of Candice d'Rozario who happens to be one of the leading cast as well.

So after dinner and discussions, we head on down to Siglap South CC to rehearse and go through the songs, which were originally written by Desmond Moey and Stella Kon. Based on what they'd handed us so far, it looked like we have a lot of re-vamping to do. All in all, the rehearsal was pretty productive and i think we're finally moving on from here. The musical showcases on 26th of June @ the Arts House. Further details will be issued soon, I guess.

Now I have to go and wash the dishes for Lady Sara and then put Mark's composition into Sibelius for him.

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Monday & Tuesday

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Wow. I really need to catch up with the time. I didn't speak about monday because I was so tired by the time I got back.
Monday starts off with waffles and lots of water. I had to hydrate and carb up for the early morning jog that Sara planned for us. We jogged once around the condominiums at ave 9 and that was it for us. Sara and I had not exercised like that in about one and a half year. Also because I had only 3 hours sleep, the fact that I've been smoking for a few years, waffles and a whole lot of water, I threw up the waffles and water after the run =p Don't worry! I felt better after that =) haha. Then we hit the pool to cool off.

We were invited to Jeanna's condo for barbequed lunch and a pool party. Everyone was there. Izan, Rebecca, Morgane, Jeanna, Daniel, Karol, Li Feng, Mark... and oh yeah! Suf. We didn't get the fire going very well till Daniel and Karol came because Suf was being insistant on how we should have gone about it (No offence man). Anyway Daniel came and set things straight. We ate. We sat. We talked and then we hit the pool. Sara and I didn't plan on swimming at 1st, but Jeanna made us =) Mark didn't because he came later. So we had our fun but by the time it got dark we were starting to get tired, and we packed up to go back up to Jeanna's place. We watched a bit of TV then everyone started to leave for home since we were all pretty damn tired.

I woke up from bed on tuesday thinking it'd be a quiet and lazy day. Sara had gone early for her piano lessons just around the corner and left me to sleep in. Her mom had left me a tub of Tau Huey before she left for work so my day looked to be going as planned. Sara gets back from piano lessons and begs me to go swim with her again. I didn't want to at 1st, but then I gave in since I love her so much =) heh heh.

After the swim, we decided to go out for lunch and then a movie. "Sahara", it seemed, was the choice movie to catch at that time of day. We headed down to Jubilee to purchase the tickets, then we had our late lunch at "Ramen Place" or something like that. T'was good. Sara had Chawan Mushi, Beef, Miso soup and Rice. I had Unagi(Eel), Miso soup, Rice and Deep-fried Oysters. We watched the movie afterwards. It was a great show. Steve Zahn is hilarious, in my opinion. Guess what? Sara loved it too =) How's that for a wonderful day spent without casualties?

We hailed a bus and headed down to the Esso Tigermart just around the corner from Sara's place. We bought snacks and cigarettes. Sara didn't let me get a lot of things because she's forcing me on a strict diet. Oh well. We walked back home from there. We watched TV from 8 to about midnight. "Ripley's Believe It or Not" to "CSI:New York" to "CSI:Las Vegas" to "Friends" to "Lion King 2: Simba's Pride".

After that, we took a shower and had a smoke before bedtime. Sara's already asleep, but here I am with you, good people =) Here I am to say that I haven't had a lot of time to think about matters of life. Oh life! You superficial, selfish, insensitive, cunning, conniving BITCH!!! I shall call you Edna!!! All you good people! Stay clear... the wrath of Edna!

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

May Day!!!

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

Hello my good people. So i spent my sunday sleeping in. I woke up late, watched a lotta TV and had lunch late. Hmmm~ Subway =) Lady Sara decided to shape my eyebrows and then hers too. I was shocked at the end to find out she shaved a bit too much off my left brow, so now it looks weird. Just a little. We washed up and left the house for Cousin Ally's birthday party. Actually, we met up with Sha'ari halfway so he could pass Sa some stuff that he'd borrowed before. That wasn't very eventful. He came and left in a dash. The She-devil was probably waiting around somewhere. We wouldn't want to leave her stranded for too long now, wouldn't we? Adrian might be lurking around somewhere, waiting for the right opportunity to come out and give her a tight slap on her face!
Anyway, we finally got to the party and we had our fill of a locally catered dinner. Indulged in some chit-chat, some bad wine and somemore TV. We watched "Ice Age" and had a laugh. Proceeded to Ally's room where we started our usual rounds of "Shit Head", a card game that involves sabotage and doesn't really make a lot of sense. We love it still. The losers end up getting labelled shit heads. It's fun when you distort the titles of each round into nonsensical ones like "Bukake Slave of the Tutu Gang" or "Marcus' brown stain". It's all in good fun =)
Cousin Mel had to leave so we walked her to the MRT station. Well actually, just Colin, Mark and Gabriel. Brad, Chris, Sa and I stayed behind for a smoke. Then we got a call from Uncle Francis. He wanted a pack of menthol lights, so we went and got them for him.

On the way, we found out that Brad was kinda progressing with his new love interest and Chris fell out with his previous one. We Olsens are all cassanovas in one way or another. Brad was complaining to me that Jennifer, the ah lian, plays him hot and cold. He just can't tell if she wants him or not. Once after he accompanied her back to her place for the night, he felt like it was a good time to lean over and kiss her. They were standing awfully close to each other and he was about to do the deed, when all of a sudden she pulled a fag and lit it. He was disappointed, but i told him to simply go for it the next time he got the chance. Even if it turned out bad, he'd still be able to say he kissed the hottie from school! He was content with that. Chris expressed that he was utterly disgusted with the fact his ex doesn't shave her pitts! She invited him over to her house one day, for the purpose of studying together. He wasn't in a good mood and didn't really wanna go, but he went anyway. As soon as he got there, she turned on him like an animal in heat. She pressed her body against him and raised her arms to reveal her hairy pitts from hell! He said it was so bad that the hairs clumped together with her sweat! EEEEK! All I could say was, "Hey, that looks like a job for Mark!" Yeah, we had our laughs.

So we got back to the party. We played somemore "Shit Head". We chatted somemore then it was time to go. It's always good to hang out with family. Then here I am, taking this entry down into the world of cyber journals. It all still feels so surreal. Now I bid farewell to you, my good people, for today brings many more an adventure. Later on this morning, we Exercise!

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*