Beautiful

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

I was looking for a favourite 'testimonial' that was submitted for me, by a friend, on 'Friendster'.

In case some of you 'imaginary' readers might not know, 'Friendster' was created as a means of connecting with people, whom you are acquainted with, freely via the internet (provided that they, as well, do subscribe to it). Friends can write and submit you 'testimonials' as proof of your genuineness and also, done simply as a favour, to beautify your 'profile' on your respectful page so you'd appear alluring and attract as many new 'friends' as you possibly can.

To my astonishment, I had noticed that I am currently unable to access my recently-deemed favourite 'testimonial' along with a few others as well. It seems almost as if these have been quietly lifted off my 'profile' or have simply disappeared miraculously.

In any case, this had led me to browse through the 'testimonials' that I had previously received over the past three years or so. I started from the top down, breezing through any significant piece of writing between August of 2003 and now. That is October of 2006.

I have never smiled to myself so much in the past six months. I even laughed a little at the humour of some. The feeling was heart-warming. Those moments will always be precious to me, and I would not have traded them for the world. For good or bad, they brought lessons to be learnt. Moments to be cherished. And hearts to be embraced. How many of us have the courage or the strength to admit that, even to ourselves?

Many had caught my attention, but not all as well as this one:

Posted 3/4/2004

Beautiful,you're beautiful,as beautiful
as the sun.Wonderful,you're wonderful,as
wonderful as they come.And i can't help
but feel attached to the feelings i
can't even match.With my face pressed up
to the glass,wanting you.Beautiful,
you're beautiful,as beautiful as the
sky.Wonderful,it's wonderful to know
that you're just like I.And i'm sure you
know me well,as i'm sure you don't but
you just can't tell,who you'll you love
and who you won't.And i love you,as you
love me.So let the clouds roll by your
face,we'll let the world spin on to
another place.We'll climb the tallest
tree above it all to look down on you
and me and them.And i'm sure you know me
well,as i'm sure you don't but you just
can't tell,who you'll love and who you
won't.

I did not edit this one, so as to keep it's authenticity intact.

Am I really beautiful? I believe I am, but do you really? It hurts me so, to know that I am no longer anywhere near beautiful in your eyes. Could it be? That you had been so blind to not realize that I was, in fact, 'hideous' from the very beginning? So much that you would take back all you have said in your past? Do you feel that a part of you had died because you discovered that I was, indeed, 'ugly'?

I have not changed my perception of you, despite of all this. And I never will. You will remain beautiful in my eyes, as you are in God's. Do not doubt my sincerity. Do not doubt my passion. Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will.

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Ridiculously Hilarious

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

I heard from a friend, who heard from a friend, that Nicholas John Olsen has been 'leading an army' against Sara Wei Ruyu and Lee Kokliang. This is a complete and utter absurdity. It's madness! Nicholas John Olsen has no means for conjuring up such an apparent monstrosity, nor has he a reason to do so.

What good might it do him if he is supposed to be leaving in December? Why would he even think to do such a thing to a precious loved one? I'd say that the lies that people have been believing, have had a significant impact on their wild imaginations. The false information that they've been fed has made people fearful. Fearful of what might come next.

"Perhaps," they might say, "perhaps Nicholas John Olsen is coming for us! For we know his deepest, darkest sins!"

"Nay," an elder reasons in disbelief, "It can't be so... could it?"

"Alas," someone shouts from the back, "he'll be comin' along with his demolition army too!"

"Aye! That must be it," they all exclaim, "We'd best get to our positions and defend ourselves against the attack!"

What rubbish! Nicholas John Olsen is not leading an army against Sara Wei Ruyu and Lee Kokliang. Could it be that some people might like to believe that this is true, because they've got nothing else better to do with their lives? Are people just, generally, sadistic?

Give it all a break once and for all. Nicholas John Olsen does not deserve to endure all this incessant, theatrical bullshit. He has not done anything to provoke any of these people, yet they continue to persecute him. And for what, really? Nothing. They know not what they do, yet he merely sits here and he takes it.

Open up your eyes and come to terms with the fact that they're only discontent with themselves. Just waiting to blame the next person they can pin everything on. Amidst all this happening, Nicholas John Olsen maintains an understanding for these people that persecute him. He even forgives them.

And a creepy, evil laughter echoes down the hallway for added effect.

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Indifference

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

You feel disgusted. You don't wanna see me. You don't wanna acknowledge me. You wanna pretend I'm not here. Is that even supposed to affect me? What bloody difference does it make? It was all the same before. As if this changes anything that's been happening.

I don't feel any different. Do you? I shouldn't suppose so. This whole thing has been so unbelievably redundant. You really must be confusing yourself. The act of condemnation is for those who feel inadequate, so please don't do it unnecessarily.

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

Listen to Rastaman

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

In high seas or-a low seas,
I'm gonna be your friend;
I'm gonna be your friend.
In-a high tide or-a low tide,
I'll be by your side;
I'll be by your side.

I heard her praying - praying - praying
I said, I heard my mother;
She was praying
And the words that she said,
They still-a lingers in my head.
She said, "A child is born in this world,
He needs protection.
God, guide and protect us.
When we're wrong, please correct us,
And stand by me."

High seas or-a low seas,
I'm gonna be your friend;
He said, "I'm gonna be your friend."
And, baby, high tide or low tide,
I'll be by your side;
I'll be by your side.

I said, I heard my mother;
She was cryin'
And the tears that she shed,
They still lingers in my head.
She said, "A child is born in this world,
He needs protection.
God, guide and protect us.
When we're wrong correct us."
And in high seas or low seas,
I'm gonna be your friend;
I'm gonna be your friend.
Said, "High tide or low tide,
I'll be by your side;
I'll be by your side

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*

For Your Benefit

*Gong* All Ye Hail Emperor Superstar! The Emperor Thpeaketh!

I can't believe what I'm hearing. What I've been hearing. What I might be hearing again and again. Just over about 2 months ago, I put myself through an ordeal that set me on the track for a complete revelation in my life. I settled whatever problems some people might have had with me. Whether or not they really did have problems with me, I didn't really care. All I wanted to do was be rid of the complications and get on with my life that had already been crushed enough by then.

As far as I'm concerned, my dear friends, I've done MY part. I've dealt with my end of the bargain. Have you done the same? Or do you just have too much pride and self-righteousness clouding your minds in judgment? I've already said, "I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me'. Some have pretentiously accepted. Some have blatantly denied me redemption. If you really are my friend, you'd rejoice in my turning over a new leaf. Who do you think you are? God the Almighty? Oh I know what you're gonna say, "No. I would never be like you and say such a blasphemous thing such as that". Let me re-educate you, you ignorant prick. God the Almighty isn't gonna offer you even the luxury of redemption for being the self-righteous worm that you are.

Much audacity you have to come and tell me not to be a stranger. All of you. You do whatever the hell you want and it's ok. So I take my leave to heal and I'm a stranger? What the hell are you then?

With regards to you, Mr. Flaky, I have had no problems with you. Why are you apologizing to me only under the influence of alcohol? Are you feeling guilty? Are you wetting your pajamas? I have nothing to do with the rubbish you hear at school. Why are you getting affected if you in fact are not a culprit then? You say, "I value our friendship much more than any of it. I love you as my friend". Please read above. Your name is Mr. Flaky.

And YOU. My dearly beloved you. Nobody knows you better than I do. Nobody knows me better than you do. At least I think you do. After all that, you choose to listen to an idiot that you can't even stand enough to work with. And in your defense, you poison the minds of others. How insecure are you? If you have some kind of a problem with me, then why don't you just come up to me and say it? Why do you hide under the protection of the minds that you have poisoned? Do you think I'm some kind of a dumb ass? Oh please, give me a break. None of you could ever match up to my intelligence.

I feel sorry for you. How many times do I have to tell you what's good for you? You never listen. You never WANT to. What goes on in your head? Sometimes I don't know because you can't even express yourself. Who are you trying to delude besides yourself? You've already admitted to me that you were in denial all this while. It's time you admitted it to YOURSELF. Oh sorry, I forgot you're too busy sipping on the high-life and sucking face with Mr. Hamburger Head. You've lost it so much that a non-musician knows more than you about Miles Davis and John Coltrane. You have got to be kidding me. What a confirmation of all the bullshit you've been throwing at me. I'm through. Put the pieces together. Maybe you'd find some enlightenment.

*This entry is dedicated to the bestest best friends ever. Some of whom may not have been mentioned here, but they deserve credit all the same. Please feel free to leave your comments here because it'll be interesting.

The Emperor Hath Thpoken! *Gong*